Jessie's DeadJournal -- Entries


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Jessie

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dreaming of lost dreams [25 Dec 2003|10:21pm]
[ music | Shinedown 45 ]

Life I hear tends to go by real fast
I’m not quiet sure how to form it and how long it will even last
Many things I am going out of my head scared im not going to find it
But when was I supposed to start looking for it? Shit
My head is all spun up like the spider’s web
So confused I can’t even lay my head to go to bed
Why do I feel like everything I did is wrong?
I don’t want to be like every girl on those songs
I want to be me and just want to be free
Why is it so hard for everyone to let me be me?
I want to be loved but I want to find the real kind of love
Are my standards set to far above?
Everyone is scared of rejection
I am mainly scared of acception
Still confused of my destination
But mostly prepared for the preparation
My dreams are scattered and confused
I wish there can be someone who is helpful to my use
For now I can only live life to the fullest

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Out of control [26 Nov 2003|11:47am]
It was so great to finally to talk to you again veronica i think now that we are older we finally understand each other a little more. I dont know i changed the way i c things now im just not the same gurl anymore. I really wish that i could be there to comfort you but i cant maybe i shoud come visit you sometime. Ne ways matt did call me last night it was really cool to talk to him but wahtever ill write in here again later
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Fuck Today just like yesterday [25 Nov 2003|10:39am]
[ music | Story of the year -sidewalk ]

I dont know where i want to start writting so give me a min>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>ok i think im ready now
So this week we have off and i dont know if that is good for me at all because instead of going to school to dance and working out there and being required to i have to get off my lazy ass and keep myself going. I guess its all up to me now to keep myself in this school. Chocolate nutcracker is almost over i am so happy because those rehearsels have been the longest three months of my life. I talked to the person that could teach me how to play the guitar but i dont know it cost to much right now. I hardly have any money to get my family christmas gifts. I cant wait till dec 7 me and caitlin are going to the next big thing 3 its going to be so fucking awesome. I want to be in a band so much i rather do that than be a dancer but i need to learn how to play before i can be in a band i guess. I mean i love being an artist i just think that i can be more than one type of artist. i dont know whatever i hope matt callls peace out everyone love jessie

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Think im finally thinking straight about things [23 Nov 2003|07:15pm]
[ mood | artistic ]
[ music | finch what it is to burn ]

Hmm well i just got the finch cd i like it alot. Ne ways the real reason i am writting in here is because last night i talked to richard and he was drunk and it just made me realize that its ok that im not with him he made me relize that i dont need someone like him in my life and im glad i can finally realize this shit im relieved now yes. Last night matt called me i missed his call i did not even here the phone ring i was so sad me and caitlin were cleanin my room o well i hope he calls again. well out of words to say. peace

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Thursday Thrice Coheed and Cambria concert rocked [12 Nov 2003|05:36pm]
[ mood | good char.... ]
[ music | Coheed and Cambria devil in jersey city ]

Last night i went to the concert at jannus landing it was so incredible. It was like heaven at this concert there was so many hot guys i just did not know what to do with myself haha. Anyways me and my brother went because i did not want to go by myself so i had to pay for my brothers ticket. All i have to say is whoever missed the concert is totally out of their mind it was fucking awesome love jess

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Taking Back Yesterday! [05 Nov 2003|06:26pm]
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | switchfoot meant to live ]

Tommorow I was suppose to goto the taking back sunday concert but i dont think that i am going to go. O well i guess you cant always have what you want in life. So umm.. whats new hm well this morning i did not feel like getting up at all i was so tired. Today is my only day that i do not dance and i must say i love wend. Anyway i mean nothing exciting really happened today so words are lo goto go. jessie

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I hate the dentist [29 Oct 2003|07:07pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | The darkness- I belive in a thing called love ]

Well it has been a few days since i have had the chance to write in this so please forgive me for everyone who likes to do a daily check on me! So anyway i would like to say that I do not like Kurt anymore. I dont know why so please dont ask me im just not really sure right now. I think i just need to stay to my own culture. Enough said about that. Caitlin and i are going through a lot of shit right now so please dont ask to much personal crap about dance or just life in general. Today i went to the dentist to get a small filling god for a small filling they sure did a lot of work i thought they would never be done haha. So today in english class i read my quote and it was why do we spend so much time loving the ones who hate us then loving the ones we wish would back up a little. I really am in love with that quote cuz im totally feeling it. dont know what else to say but peace.

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Lost in space [21 Oct 2003|08:06pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Heart tell it to ur heart ]

Right now i hate to say it but i dont know whats going on in my life. I hate being the age that i am. I just think that i am going through so much and its time to make changes that i think are going to make me go the right way in life. Im so happy i am finally learning who i really am and im learning to express myself the way that i want ppl to see me. I really wish ppl would except me for who i am but not everyone is going to like you so just have to stay with the ppl that actually really care for you.
Guys i guess im not doing to good with right now. Yesterday Rollie called Kurt and he did not even know who i was and i got offended when he called me a tech person. I dont know if i want to waist my time on someone that sits kinda of next to me in english class and does not even know my name. I am sorry but i think thats kinda sad. He must have just never wanted to know anything about me i guess he did not even recognize that i was in the same class as him. O well life goes on. Dont have time to sit here and dread about what cant be right now.
Caitlin got Alexs phone number today i am so happy so now we can finally hang out with him i think he is really hot and just a cool person all around. I know he is the kinda person that sees more then the person on the outside.
Today at lunch the kid ryan that i met yesterday at lunch talked to me he is really cool. He told me that he noticed me around alot and that he really thought that my hair was cool and he always wants to touch my hair he says its awesome. Then he told me if i wear my hair down tomorrow he will wear his down. haha .
Speaking of hair today alex stole my hat off my head and said that he thought my hair was fake. I was like what ya he said you have to have a perm in your hair he still thinks it s fake but you know i dont know how to prove that it is reall lol.
Today i took the psat it was kinda fun because i had people that i knew in there taking it also like keiisha and a few other ppl. well i am going to go for now just thought i would make an update in my journal.jessie

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Life [13 Oct 2003|03:54pm]
[ mood | artistic ]
[ music | fuel falls on me ]

I was put on this earth
To learn how to live life i guess
Its all like one huge test
Thing for me is I dont know what to mark next
My puzzle is all scrambled on the floor
With no help comming through the door
Each day i wonder what piece of the puzzle will be added
Most comes to most it gets subtracted
I try to reach for sucess and am alway tryin my best
But i am always being told im a mess
You see i dont think i can ever past this test of life?
Ill never know intill the end!

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Concert dates if anyone wants to know [08 Oct 2003|07:50pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | BIG SKY ]

Nov 1 311-alien ant farm
Nov 4 Taking Back Sunday
Nov 7 A perfect Circle
Nov 8 Getaway wheelchair drivers

If you want more information on where these are at keiisha lol just email me.

Today fucking sucks my throat hurts. Have to take fcat tomorrow must i say im so excited not lol.

Peace out everyone
Jessie

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[05 Oct 2003|06:18pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | authority zero- one more minute ]

Concert info: The S.OA.P. (“Speak Out Against” Performance) Show will bring a number of acts to the parking lot north of the Sun Dome, site of previous Vans Warped Tour visits, to raise funds for The Spring of Tampa Bay. Artists scheduled to appear include Frankie Perez, Code Sunshine, The Hiss, Big Dismal, Big Sky, Gitas, Urbane Cowboys and 2nd Day Broadcast

This concert i must say was totaly awesome. I got to stand right by the bands up front i got a drum stick from big dismal and caitlin got a guitar pick from yellowcard. I bought a cd from big sky cause they were the best group there and i talked to the group and got them to sign my cd. It really was a blast and i cant wait to goto taking back sundays concert woah!

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Today was just one of those days where he said she said ! [02 Oct 2003|05:04pm]
[ mood | dorky ]
[ music | sublime what i got is u lol ]

Well me and caitlin always say that ok ya where going to talk to alex and blondie today. YOu see we get right next to both of them and we start to chicken out and we end up walking behind them is is so retarded and a waiste of time so today i went up to alex and and asked him his name and what he goes to our school for even though i already know all that about him but he does not know that. Then he asked me what my name was and what im there for. its was really tight. The first step to getting in the crowd i wanna be in. I also went up to blondie before 6th period and asked him what grade he was in and how old he is. statics 11th grade 17 yrs old major hottie. Well i guess that was all that went rockin at school today. Ill make sure to keep everyone updated to whats going on if all my friends in FLORIDA still checkin out my journal. peace

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MiXeD EmOtIoNs [30 Sep 2003|07:26pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | three days grace i hate everything about you ]

Today i am so confused about everything. To be quite honest right now i really want a boyfriend. I miss having someone to hold me in the arms and just be there for me. I miss having someone there for me thats a guy. Now everytime i talk to guy its like i dont care who they are i just like them cuz i want to go out with them and that is horrible. I dont know its like all these feelings are just now hitting me and i feel like its making me weak. I know that you do not need a guy to live life i just want there for me to know ill have someone to go and talk to well thats all for now ill get back on this subject later. Jessie

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F*ck lol What a day today! [29 Sep 2003|08:30pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | AFI the leaving song part 2 ]

Whoa! Today was a very crazy day. It sucked in the morning because it was raining and i had to walk to my bus stop and i got soaked lol not fun. So anywayz today at school was a wacked up day i must truely say some idiots decided to start our school girls locker rooms on fire so we had to go out side intill they got the fire up and cleared. It was tight though. Got me out of a spanish class. At lunch I met this new guy his name is ed i think he is pretty hot all he needs is some new shoes and he should look slammin lol. Today at school we had modern dance i was kinda mad because we have only had like 8 ballet classes since school started so i dont know why they are doing that. Me and caitlin wanted to check alex out cuz him and his girl broke up we were like hot stuff come our way lol. Alex is so punk he is rad he has long black hair with green streaks wheres afi shirts black tight ass pants with black and white socks to his knees that u can see. Can you say hotness. Well i goto go get ready for school so goodbye for now deadjournal rest in hell! Ill be back
j8e8s8s8i8e8

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Lazy day! [24 Aug 2003|06:25pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Total eclipse of the heart ]

Today I just sat all day and im letting my body recover from the weekdays. Today it was my dads birthday and tomorrow is my moms so we celebrated it today. It was fun. Anyway most of the day i stayed online talking to todd. He is a really cool person he kinda makes me wish he was right next to me instead of in colorado. One of these days i am totaly going to fly to colorado and go check him out.
I am going on like the 5th week of school and i am already so sick and tired of waking up.
Once again none of my friends called so i had no one to talk to really. I think that my friend is kinda mad at me because when she called she was telling me about her audition and i was not paying that much attention to what she was saying and i can see why she is mad at me. I dont know right now in life i kind of feel like no one understands what is going i want someone to be there for me and just hold me tight and say that everything is going to be alright. I just dont think any person is ever going to tell me just to stoop and hold me and comfort me everyone is so full of thereselves everyone seeems to forget about the ppl that are hurting. well i am going to go . peace

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Punkkinagurls buddy info enter if you dare to know whats going on [23 Aug 2003|10:39pm]
4View My BuddyProfile
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My profile [23 Aug 2003|10:21pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | shut up kelly osborne ]

Welcome to MY BuddyProfile, rockzprincess72!

Come in, look at my profile, and then go off and have your meaningless pathetic day! And sadly for you, my profile will probably be the highlight of that meaningless pathetic day I was just talking about! So go have that highlight..............................................FUCK YOU!







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BUNNY! BUNNY! BUNNY!











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(( _______
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((/_____O/ \\ /O /
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((


OnE tRuE .-LoVe-.
OnE fiRsT .*KiSs*.
oNe CrAzY .-niGhT-.
oNe uNfOrGeTaBLe .*MoMeNT*.
OnE bRoKeN .-hEaRt-.
OnE hEaRt To .*BrEaK*.
oNe BeSt FriEnD
oNe FaKe FriEnD
OnE wOrSt .-EnEmY-.
OnE .*iNsPiRaTiOn*.
oNe .-ChAnCe-.
oNe .*LoVe*.
OnE .-LiFe-.
LiVe iT uP!


*..pErFeCt sMiLe.pReTtY FaCe..*
*..LiPz eVeRy GuY wAnTs 2 TaStE..*
*..gOrGeOuS hAiR..SeXi eYeZ..*
*..i gOt aLl dEm bOyZ..*
*..h.Y.p.N.o.T.i.Z. e.d..*


LoOk aT mE n TeLL mE wUt U sEe
iTs A nEw GaMe NoW
.:*i'M nOt dA lIl gUrL i UsEd 2 B



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Right Now -
-somebody is thinking of you.
-somebody is caring about you.
-somebody misses you
-somebody wants to talk to you.
-somebody wants to be with you.
-somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
-somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
-somebody wants to hold your hand.
-somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
-somebody wants you to be happy.
-somebody wants you to find him/her.
-somebody is celebrating your successes.
-somebody wants to give you a gift.
-somebody thinks that you are perfect


~ask me how many times my heart has been broken and ill tell u 2 look at the sky and count the stars


RoSes aRe ReD
VioLeTs aRe BLuE
WhO caRes? So ArE CraYons.


DoN't AcT LiKe A BiTcH
& i WoN't sLaP U LiKe OnE.

I'd Be A P.r.E.p-
BuT I CaNt StIcK My HeAd ThAt FaR Up My A.s.S.

*Prepz*
aH..prepZ aH thing i dont adore
"u bRoke mY nail! yOu diRty whOre"
Prepz, yOuR aLL aH biG disgRace,
taLk tO me & ill bUst yOuR facE!

pReps aNd i juSt do nOt matCh
iLL chOp yOuR heaD oFF & pLay caTch
eveRy prEp jusT thinKs they aRe preTTy
fuCk yOu pRepz..yOuR cuLturEs shiTTy!

All yOu pRepz thiNk yOuR sO cooL
thaTz sOme shiT, itZ aLL bULL
thE one thiNg tHat i haVe tO saY
FuCk yOu pRePz StAy oUtTa MaH waY!




~-*I LOVE YOU* is 8 lettErs*
*but then again so is *BULLSHIT*-~



?cLosE 2 PerFeCt?
YeT f.A.r FrOm LaMe
\\FiRsT a FiRe//
ThEn A f.L.a.M.e
*I'm ThE oNe GurL*
.No GuY cAn TaMe.


?PmS??
NoPe i
JuSt donT
LiKe YoU


C.a.T.c.H -yOuR- b.R.e.A.t.H
?PiNcH yOuR wRiSt?
yEaH ~iTs~ tRuE
..i dO e X i S t..




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* * *
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* . *
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* . *
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* * *




((`?. .??))
*?.))Rock((.?*
*And*
.??))Roll((`?.
* ((.?* *?.)) *



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-:|:- Good girls don't lie,
-:|:- Bad girls don't cry,
-:|:- Dumb girls need "air",
-:|:- Naughty girls need underwear,
-:|:- Sweet girls aren't mean,
-:|:- Funny girls make a scene,
-:|:- Perfect girls have all the class,
-:|:- Mean girls will kick your ass,
-:|:- Smart girls will excel,
-:|:- Gossip girls will tell,
-:|:- Popular girls get all the boys,
-:|:- Little girls play with toys,
-:|:- Normal girls are nothing new,
-:|:- So which one applies to you?




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OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!


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I wish that you would answer your dumb phone [23 Aug 2003|07:43pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | All american rejects last song ]

I wish you knew how much it hurts me everytime you dont pick up your dumbass phone. It kind of feels like your trying to avoid talking to me. I mean i dont think we could be any further away from each other. I mean you use to be my best friend and knew everything about me. Now you absouletly nothing about me. Everytime i dial your number i say i am going to try and save our friendship but i get ur machine everytime. I just dont know anymore. one of these days its going to be the last time i dial your number and i am going to give up on everything that we once had. I hope some day youll read my journal. but who knows your never online eaithe. sorry it has to be that way vero.

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Not Understanding [23 Aug 2003|09:50am]
Sometime I wish i really wish i could just read what is on everyones mind. Right now i am just in confusion and dont know what to do about anything. I wish that i had so many more people to trust and just be able to talk to. Its like all these years i have worked hard on making friends and its like they kind have all forgoten about me i think right now thats what hurts the most.

Anyway today i dont have to dance i am so happy about that because i just need a break i take almost 21 classes monday through friday i am just really tired. I have an audition on monday at school and i have to try out because its a grade. Even though i have to try out i am not going to get the chance to try out i dont get to get to be in the fall concert because i am on probation for artistic growth. But i already new that was going to happen and thats why i tryed out for the choclate nutcraker and got one of the lead parts. I dont know i think i am doing good but whatever. I start that rehearsel on sept 6 i am excited about that. Today i wanted to go run on the beach but like usual my parent tell everyone ill be in everything so now i have rehearsel for some play its suppost to be big but like where in my schedule do i have the time . I dont get it.

Its almost homecomming and i really would like to go with someone but i dont know what to do because he does not even know who i am so i am still trying to figure it ouit. well i got to get ready for rehearsel peace out
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What am i [15 Aug 2003|09:27pm]
holding hands
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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